When we work with people behaving compulsively, we know their own internal thoughts drive them to THINK compulsively and ACT compulsively. Breaking down this phenomenon into its simplest form brings little comfort for those unable to stop acting compulsively. However, when we provide a simple formula to the client for use in unraveling their compulsive thinking, the client can perpetuate their own change.
This article aims to briefly present how to change from Compulsive to Non-Compulsive thinking. The technique only asks the thinker to accurately define their thoughts. Be sure to have a dictionary handy in your office to implement this simple, yet powerful technique.
Here is an example of how the technique works.
Suppose a person believes smoking a cigarette will make that person popular. Consciously, we know that a non-thinking, non-breathing, non-living object, called a cigarette, cannot 'make' a person anything. However, this compulsive thought seems like truth for the client. You need to unravel the lie to find the truth.
A simple version of the compulsive thought the smoker may be using as internal instruction; 'Smoking makes me popular!' Let us break down this compulsive suggestion into its simpler parts.
We’ll. start with the first word. 'Smoking…'. First, define smoking. What is smoking? Smoking is visual evidence something is either currently being burned or has been burned and is now dying out from the burning source. What are some things that smoke? Anything burnable; tobacco, meats, the end of a gun after it’s been fired.
When smoking occurs what is happening to the object smoking? In the case of tobacco, it is giving off an odor and releases poisons into the air or lungs of the person smoking it. In the case of meat, the smoke somehow forces its flavor into the meat. In the case of a gun, the gun barrel acts as a tunnel through which the smoking bullet’s gunpowder streams.
After defining the word 'smoking', define 'makes me'. This phrase connotes force; violating a person’s ability to freely choose for oneself. Ask the client questions like, "Do you feel happy being forced into behaving a certain way?" "Do you feel angry at the audacity of a cigarette forcing you into becoming popular?" "Do you enjoy letting a cigarette, or any other thing or person, decide for you what is right for you?" These are all seeds to plant so the subconscious mind has more information to use when it obeys the conscious mind during decision-making.
After defining the phrase 'makes me', define the word 'popular'. What does popular mean? The client will usually respond with something like, "A situation whereby an object or person receives favorable attention." Here is where you discover the real benefit the client thinks he /she is experiencing while smoking. Notice the phrasing and the obvious inclusion of the word 'favorable'
Share the dictionary’s definition with the client. The dictionary defines popular with such phrases as "widely liked or appreciated", "liked by friends, associates, or acquaintances", "sought after for company", "fit for or reflecting the taste and intelligence of the people at large", "accepted by or prevalent among the people in general", "suited to or within the means of ordinary people." Though the dictionary defines popularity in favorable terms, remember to also suggest that a mass murderer could also be perceived as 'popular'. This will help to maintain the therapist/client relationship.
As you go through each phrase the client shares, (i.e., smoking makes me think more clearly, smoking relaxes me, I feel sophisticated smoking, etc.) continue to accurately define what the phrase actually means compared to what the client wants. Keep asking open-ended questions with How, Who, What, Where, and When, as appropriate. Avoid asking why, this only perpetuates an endless loop of justification. The therapist might say something like, "You’ve defined what 'smoking', 'makes me' and 'popular' means; do you still believe smoking makes you popular?" "Do you want to continue allowing yourself to be possessed by a cigarette?"
When the client states he/she prefers favorable popularity ask them how a cigarette assists the client in achieving this favorable popularity. Ask the client to explain how you, the therapist can achieve the same popularity benefit the client believes he or she is achieving by smoking a cigarette. The client may stumble here as the lie comes apart. You can help by asking the client to repeat a simple statement, "Smoking is Smoking." and let the client repeat the phrase several times. Do the same thing with the statements, "Forcing is Forcing." and "Popularity is Popularity." Then take these components and tell the client, "The phenomenon 'smoking', and the phrase 'makes me', and the idea 'popularity' are three totally, unrelated ideas." Ask the client to repeat the statement several times until the light goes on.
Now add something like, "Popularity is defined by each individual. If you want to believe smoking a cigarette makes you popular, you are saying that you want the cigarette to make decisions for you. How can a cigarette decide about your life issues? A cigarette demonstrates no ability to think, it has no brain, and it is an object that is separate from you. Think about that for a minute." By saying 'Think …', you ask the client to use his/her conscious mind. Remember, the left brain is most closely associated with the logical processes and you want the client to start thinking logically. This is the only way he/she can release the self-created and compulsive lie.
With clear communication the client can begin to unravel the lie that seems like truth. For any compulsive behavior, accurately defining the compulsive suggestions leads the 'clueless' to clues for unraveling their behavior mystery.
Copyright 1997© Susan Fox
Susan Fox received her Hypnotherapy Certification in 1988 at the Hypnotism Training Institute in Los Angeles, California. She has presented several workshops and seminars at the NGH Convention and at other National and International Professional Hypnotherapy conventions. She has been nominated to receive the 1998 Sealah Award and an induction into the International Hypnosis Hall of Fame.
To receive information about any of the books she has published contact Bergdorf Publishing at terrie@bergdorf.com or by calling 1-800-968-3735.
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